Orland doc's drive-up window

Is this innovation? Or insanity? An Orland Park doctor plans to open a medical office with a drive-up window. If you can get a burger and fries at the drive-up window (essentially, heart disease and a fat keester in a white paper sack), then you ought to be able to get your Lipitor at the window, too. Eliminates the need for you to get out of your car and walk into the doctor's office.

Dr. Waldemar Nowak plans to turn the former Vito & Nick's restaurant, 54 Orland Square Drive, into medical offices with two drive-up bays. Not one, two. Cuts the wait in half, I guess. Nowak declined to tell reporters how the drive-ups would be used.

"This is my own idea," Dr. Nowak said.

Can you get a prostate exam at the window? Hernia check? I imagine the reflex test with the little hammer on the knee joint will be kind of difficult to perform. What if you're at the window and the doc has some bad news? "Pull up and park, I'll come out and tell you about your test results." Prescribing meds in the drive-thru should be a cinch, though.

Own a business? Then you're not alone in wondering how the new health care reform laws affect you.

Aggie's farm: If you read one story this week, make it this one. Guy Tridgell tells the story of a 100-year-old widow who raised dozens of foster kids, now on the verge of losing her Monee farm. After his story last Monday, the police are now looking into the management of the elderly woman's finances.

Getting jobbed: Local teachers will face mass layoffs. This is going to get so much worse.

Another season of roadwork: Almost every town in Will and south Cook counties will see some roadwork this spring, summer and fall, writes reporter Karen Sorensen, and the biggest undertaking in south Cook is the ongoing reconstruction of three railroad and two highway viaducts along 159th Street between Lexington and Fisk avenues in Harvey.

Standing up, being counted: Dan Lipinski, the only Illinois Democrat to vote "no" on Obamacare, says his Southwest Side district is 3-to-1 in his favor, according to John Kass.

New neighbor disclosure form: Finally, let's waste the government's time, why don't we. The Beverly homeowner who hung racially charged messages in his back yard didn't violate any local laws, reports Casey Cora, but Chicago Human Relations Commission chairman Dana Starks wants federal and state authorities to take a look and possibly charge him with crimes of intimidation. Michael Corrigan, 62, of the 9900 block of Fairfield Avenue, didn't want black neighbors when the house next door went up for sale. So he posted signs. "Say no to the ghetto" ... "White power" ... "Mt. Greenwood - the next Englewood."

We all know Corrigan's far from alone in his views. But he did his new neighbors, whatever color they may be, a favor. They'll know well before they move in that their next-door neighbor is an ignorant buffoon. If only all prospective neighbors advertised their stupidity for the world to see. Maybe we could have a disclosure law, like if you have mold or asbestos in your home. If the house next door is up for sale, you must hang a sign that lets prospective home buyers know exactly what's wrong with you.

Dennis Robaugh can be reached at dennis@southlandsavvy.com